This week on Footnotes, we’re confronting enemies within and without. First, the infamous Pied Piper and his distant relative Paula Deen. One of them endangers children, and the other is the Pied Piper.

Then we head out into space to answer an age-old question: What is more likely to kill you, a massive supernova explosion or eating a teaspoon of Paula Deen’s food? (Side project for the adventurous: What contains more energy, a teaspoon of Paula Deen’s food or an equal amount of a star’s plasma?)

(Source: Wired)

This week on Footnotes, we ask: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because the giant squid have murdered everybody. In this special undersea episode, we head to the depths to visit with all manner of creatures that have grown enormous in an effort to get their own Discovery Channel specials.

From 12-foot Japanese spider crabs to 60-foot oarfish that don’t appreciate being used as oars, we’ve got the material for the next week of your oceanic nightmares. Not that we think it needs to be said, but you shouldn’t watch this episode while in the water.

(Source: Wired)

Hard to believe it’s been another year. Well, that’s misleading. Footnotes has only been on the air since July. But that doesn’t mean we can’t compile a blooper episode. It’s less labor-intensive for Matt anyway.

We spend about an hour shooting each episode, of which we use between three and four minutes of material. The rest of the time is Matt making fun of the crew, the crew making fun of Matt, and him botching his lines. Mostly, it’s him botching his lines. As you might have noticed in this blooper reel.

(Source: Wired)

This week on Footnotes: We’re talking about bootlegging, and why it isn’t wise to take an American’s drink away. And can you guess why boats don’t wear shoes? Yeah, me neither.

Also, I stopped just short of combing my hair for this week’s heady discussion of wigs.

Come across something on Wired that you want me to talk about? Ping me on Twitter at @mrMattSimon or by email at matthew_simon at wired.com.

New episode of awesome funny-ness. You should really watch it. A solid way to spend the next 3 minutes of your life, we promise.

(Source: Wired)

This week on Footnotes, we’re talking about McWords, which the marketing department at McDonald’s could really do without. McMansion, McWorld, and McJob are not terms you want associated with your brand name. But such is the beautiful malleability of the English language. And the consequence of having a readily adoptable prefix like Mc- in your company name.

Also, host Matt Simon reveals deep childhood psychoses and provides the requisite photographic evidence in his quest to explain the concept of ectoplasm. Turns out it’s as simple as digging into a big plate of fabric. McDelicious.

(Source: Wired)